If Ralph Nader was an action figure, he’d be recalled for falling on his sword.

I almost fell off my ladder this morning listening to Neale Lunderville, the state’s new Irene Recovery Czar, on the Mark Johnson Show. Oh, how he cares about Vermont. Well, as long as you show him a six-figure salary. Because nothing says “I love Vermont” more than stepping up and cashing her checks, huh Lunderboy?

But that’s not even the part that almost made me fall from my painterly perch in – ahem – a state office building. That moment was saved for Lunderboy’s response to one of the same five conservative cranks who seem to call Johnson EVERY SINGLE DAY and say the EXACT SAME THING (read: It’s the unions! It’s the environmentalists! It’s the government!)

The caller asked Lunderboy what he felt about the clause in some state workers’ contracts that allow them to collect more pay in times of an emergency. And, with his pockets freshly stuffed with the state’s money in a time of an emergency, Lunderboy did what he always does when it comes to state workers: He threw them under the bus. Yep, he said that he would hope the state’s union workers wouldn’t seek to take advantage of the Irene mess.

Since this was all happening on the radio I can’t report on whether or not he got that out with a straight face or not. Probably. Because, as most of us should remember, Lunderboy’s the master of taking the government check and then working like hell to slash the jobs and pay of others who have the “audacity” to try and do the same.

And there’s no coincidence that the government jobs Lunderboy loves to slash most are…wait for it…union jobs. It’s all part of Lunderboy’s recurring Reagan-inspired wet dream, whereby he plays the government-hating prick (and boss) and the state’s union employees are his to kick around. Think: Air traffic controllers.

It’s unfortunate that Johnson turned to putty once again while interviewing the state’s political elite. He did slip in what felt like an obligatory softball about Senator Vincent Illuzzi’s concerns about Lunderboy being too fresh from his six-month stint at Green Mountain Power to take this new gig, especially since it’s Governor Shumlin’s Public Service Board that is considering GMP’s merger attempts.

Lunderboy just blathered it all away, all but cuing the National Anthem in the background, and Lapdog Johnson put himself back on the track of: So, tell me again, why are you and Vermont so great?

Fittingly, the show ended with Johnson giving Lunderboy a free bag of coffee. That’s a long, long way from Pulitzer’s motto that media people “should have no friends.”

And that chuckle you’re hearing is the sound of Lunderboy laughing on his way to the bank. Sweet dreams, indeed.

What the neighbors heard last night:

That’s My Carbon Footprint Up Your Ass.

Proof, once again, that ignorance is bliss.

Oh wait, it was on Bill McKibben’s car. And he was at the airport, coming back from another trip around the world to tell people to stay put or die from their sins. Cool.

(Update: The chicken-little-editors at 7 Daze basically waterboarded an apology out of Lauren Ober after realizing that her piece mentioned below might harm their liberal diva status in Vermont. In addition to writing the very strained apology that can be read here, Snarky Boy has learned that she’s also been forced to follow 7 Daze’s Shay Totten around for two weeks so as to “learn how to look the part without ruffling the feathers.” So, given Ober’s weak-kneed buckling to management, Snarky Boy is no longer in love. Whatever, indeed.)

The snarky gal at Seven Daze let it rip — again. This time she took aim at the little Phishies descending upon Vermont for a benefit concert. The best part, however, is the whining deluge of comments that her piece inspired. Proving, of course, that the Phish slackers really don’t have anything better to do.

Click here to read the article. But you won’t be able to comment since the sissies at Seven Daze shut the comments down. Wimps.

Okay, okay, I’ll say something about the decision yesterday by Vermont’s Governor Peter Shumlin to appoint the right-hand-man of his arch electoral enemy to be the “czar” of the state’s Irene cleanup efforts. Yes, I’m speaking about Neale Lunderville, the boy wonder of the early Jim Douglas years who has since morphed into a full-on government job whore.

But this is the first time the velvet glove of a Democrat has come calling. Well, to be fair, it’s the first time anyone not named Jim Douglas has come calling for Lunderboy’s government services. Ironically, Lunderboy’s a “tea party” Republican – you know, the kind who hates government – who has spent his entire adult life sucking on the economic tit of – ahem – government. Hey, he learned from the best: Jim Douglas, who spent 30+ years condemning government while living off of it.

The fact that a liberal Democrat like Shumlin would appoint an arch enemy – and, thus, fart in the direction of his base who grew to truly loathe the guy – isn’t surprising. It’s what liberal Democrats do, mostly because their liberal base has been scientifically proven to be spinus-minus-allotta (translation: those without a political spine).

The bigger story here is where Lunderboy has been in the eight whole months he’s been without a government job. And, for those not paying attention at home, that means: Green Mountain Power Corporation.

Yeah, THAT Green Mountain Power Corporation. The one led by Mary Powell, one of Shumlin’s major political contributors and – as “luck” would have it – the chairperson of Shumlin’s inaugural festivities. Yeah, the kind of stuff that would drive liberals crazy if done by…say…a Republican. Oh blindness, let thee be conveniently applied.

It’s also THAT Green Mountain Power Corporation – yep, the one getting the Shumlin administration’s fawning and drooling support for its boondoggle of a wind project along the Lowell, Vermont ridgeline. Communities, true environmentalists and the environment be damned! Well, in exchange for the amount of power that could easily be saved with something called CONSERVATION.

Funny, though, that Lunderboy’s old boss, Douglas, had his doubts about wind power. More proof, of course, that Lunderboy is a government job whore. Because when Green Mountain Power showed him the money trail, he followed it, right to the side of Queen Powell and her wind-driven subsidies.

In the end, it’s all just another sordid tale about the power elite and the shuffling that occurs amongst them. The storyboard would look like this: Republican elite turned corporate elite and then Democratic elite.

I guess that’s what they call “covering your bases.”

Nice work, Lunderboy.

As for the rest of you, please ignore the fact that Lunderboy hates government.

Vermont’s Governor Peter Shumlin has recently called for owners of second homes in Vermont to offer up their dwellings for victims of Hurricane Irene. And Peter Shumlin knows all about second homes.

According to Shumlin’s financial filings during the 2010 election, he owns or has a 40% or more stake in 18 different properties – 17 in Vermont and one vacation home in Cape Breton, Canada. The total value for these homes is listed as $6,262,970.

But while Peter Shumlin called on his fellow home hoarders to share their housing wealth, he said nothing about offering up any of his own properties to the victims of Hurricane Irene.

No further comment necessary.

Below is a list of Peter Shumlin’s properties, the values of each, and the percentage of each that he owns.

Dusty Ridge Road
Putney, VT
$443,700
100%

House, cabin, land
C. Breton, Canada
$223,200
100%

Aiken Road
Putney, VT
$260,200
100%

Westminster West Rd
Westminster, VT
$352,100
100%

Hickory Ridge Road
Westminster, VT
$179,900
100%

Ranney Dairy Farm
Westminster, VT
$526,500
100%

Main Street
Putney, VT
$1,094,300
100%

West Hill
Putney, VT
$147,400
100%

Hickory Ridge Road
Westminster, VT
$389,100
50%

Kimball Hill Road
Putney, VT
$356,500
50%

Kimball Hill Road
Putney, VT
$176,200
50%

Signal Pine Road
Putney, VT
$209,500
50%

River Road South
Putney, VT
$418,800
40%

Park Place
Brattleboro, VT
$383,190
40%

Main Street
Brattleboro, VT
$383,150
40%

Western Avenue
Brattleboro, VT
$268,810
40%

North Street
Brattleboro, VT
$256,790
40%

Estey Circle
Brattleboro, VT
$193,630
40%

TOTAL PROPERTIES OWNED: 18
TOTAL PROPERTY VALUE: $6,262,970