Yep. Due to popular demand, the team that comprises Snarky, Inc. has relented to the masses and, with the kind of haste that would make the slackers at 7Daze quiver in liberal guilt, is ready to unveil the winners of our coveted award, The Dazies.
While not all of the categories have been tabulated and crosschecked, we’re confident enough in the accounting procedures to go ahead with announcing the results below. Besides, word on the ‘nets was that MSNBC was about to release the results based on early exit polling. Fuckers.
Best Snarky Writer: Snarky Boy!
Best Writer in a Snarky Melodrama: Snarky Boy!
Best Compiler of Snarky-like Commentary: Snarky Boy!
Best Snarky Writer About Lunch with Tom Salmon: Snarky Boy!
Best Snarky Annoyer of Peter Welch: Snarky Boy!
Just the Best Snarky Guy Around: Snarky Boy!
Best Snarky Painter Who Also Writes: Snarky Boy!
Best New Snarky Person Seen Walking on Elm Street: Snarky Boy!
Best Snarky Customer at a Vermont Establishment that Advertises in 7Daze: Snarky Boy!
I’m just…well…dazed. But thrilled. And can’t wait for all the free beers coming my way at Charlie-O’s tonight.
As for a victory speech, try this:
More results to come…