Snarky Boy

Reggie Watts: Yo

What I like best about being in Vermont is that I am constantly being told that I am better than everyone else because I live in Vermont. And that just makes me feel better. Especially on a day that I found an old hidden bottle of vodka that is, indeed, making me feel better.

There’s only one thing better than hiding an old bottle of booze: Finding it.

I’m working a goddamn night shift now. It’s making me crazy.

I’ve been approaching it from the perspective that it’s okay to work a night shift, even when it’s just the kind of labor that people don’t want to see or hear or smell in the daytime. But then I meet my colleagues at the gate. Which leads me back to my bottle of vodka.

Like the rest of them, I repeat the wishfully obvious: It’s all just short term. Because, pretty soon, I’m hoping to be the next U.S. Senator from Vermont and a fucking millionaire just like the rest of them.

Who’s going to be the first person to declare that blogging is dead in Vermont? Oh, okay, I’ll do it: Blogging is dead in Vermont.

Face it, you dolts: There ain’t enough of us to make it work. Besides, Vermonters are a culturally-frightened lot, worried….worried…worried about offending, even in the mildest of small-town ways. Poor things, since you talk so tough about…well…everything.

But I digress.

Blogging is dead in Vermont. Just look for yourselves. Go ahead, click away.

Baruth went from a self-loving blogger to a self-loving senator, keeping only the…ahem…self-love in the process. Did I mention “self love?” Oh, of course I did.

But let’s speed things up: The CandleBoy extinguished himself, Freyne died, She’s Right morphed into She’s Just Fucking Confused, Green Mountain Daily is a Democratic Dinosaur (but Odum keeps getting fired!), and five before chaos is still the great pretender, nearly-perfectly encapsulating all of Vermont liberal-dumb: All self-righteous attitude followed by starchy subservience, yawn).

Let’s face it, Vermont bloggers: The grown-ups took over the asylum. When the music in the game of musical-chairs-blogging ended, the (holds his nose) real journalists sat right down.

Yep, 7Days’ Blurt, the old-school stalwarts at Vermont Digger, the Freeps’ Buzz and even Mark Johnson’s podcasts (and he’s been on vacation forever) just kicked the kiddie-bloggers’ asses.  File under: Talent, I guess. And content. And, oh yeah, showing up.

But, on the bright side, Vermont’s blogging failures aren’t all the fault of Vermont’s creative doldrums. We can also blame Facebook. And Twitter.

There. I said it.

P.S. Follow me on Twitter at “TheSnarkyBoy”.

War is the Viagra of two-party rule.

Oh America, why do you just seem to get dumber and dumber? Poor thing. It must be getting hard for you to top yourself. I mean, fuck, now you need three declared wars to get your patriotism off.

If you’d just put down your fried dough for one goddamn moment, you’d see what a pig you’ve become.

It’s the economy, stupid. Welch’s multi-million-dollar portfolio includes — or included — holdings from all of the corporations listed above.

But I’m bored.